When a conflict flairs, defending your position should not be your first priority. Instead, listen first to the other person to better understand what’s keeping you from accepting his or her point of view. Then, armed with two perspectives, you can search for additional sources from which to glean information that could clarify the disconnect.
Doers see disagreements as an opportunity to dig deeper into their differences. Agreeing to disagree until the conflict is resolved is mutually beneficial. If you still can’t settle the issue, set it aside for now so it doesn’t degrade your relationship and stop you from working together on the task at hand.
Concentrating on the true source of conflict makes the issue less personal and easier to discuss. It also helps to motivate Doers to work out their differences. Solving conflicts collaboratively enables Doers to work more productively with people they don’t know, don’t like or don’t trust.
When interpersonal conflicts are explored fully it becomes obvious what, not who, needs correcting. What follows, then, is the realization that your efforts are recognized, your contributions are valued, your job is more satisfying and this really is a great place to work. Formerly strained relationships, which were once a source of pain, now become opportunities for gain.
Doers know that unresolved conflict not only drives people apart, but it is also the breeding ground for dysfunction which is why they work so hard to pull people together.