When a conflict flairs, defending your position should not be your first priority. Instead, listen first to the other person to better understand what’s keeping you apart. Then, armed with two perspectives, you can search for additional sources from which to glean clarifying information.  Disagreements provide a natural opportunity for the involved parties to dig […]

Economic uncertainty and political upheaval can send some people into a doom loop where the days are cloudy and the future is dark. What those folks need is someone to center on the here and now long enough for the sun to peak through and light up the horizon. You could be that person. All […]

Being tactful and nonjudgmental when broaching a touchy topic is not easy. Like most people at the giving end of critical feedback, your goal is to cultivate an ally not make an enemy. Ultimately, you want people to be open about their concerns especially when something is amiss. Withholding the truth sets up boundaries and […]

The ultimate goal of resolving differences is to reach a permanent solution. A quick fix won’t last unless it can be turned into a satisfying settlement. Given an opportunity to reflect on hastily resolved conflicts, people often admit dissatisfaction with their acceptance of a “feel good” solution. Their willingness to settle quickly is often based […]

Consider carefully what it means to “show more initiative.” Loosely defined terms like empowerment, delegation, accountability can also leave people confused and frustrated. To avoid misunderstanding use the following guidelines when discussing where to set the bar. Wait for directionExpecting people to do what they think is best is not always a good strategy when […]

The higher the level of dysfunction the more people refer to each other in disparaging terms that spawn misunderstandings and mistrust. Thoughts turn to survival rather than success until someone with gumption accepts responsibility for restoring functionally. If you’re that someone, it will be helpful to keep two things in mind: As tempting as it […]

Your mother was right about a first impression being important, but it’s not the one you want to rely upon when it comes to building a productive relationship. You really don’t get a clear sense of what another person brings to the relationship until you’ve given her or him a second and third look. At […]

Full disclosure regarding the potential downside of what lies ahead exposes everyone to the truth about the difficulties they’re about to face. More importantly, it triggers the search for new tools and new ways to make change happen. Lastly, it generates critical questions like: Once these questions are answered people will offer suggestions for how […]