The following list describes behavioral traits that are commonly observed in a dysfunctional setting. Are any of the behaviors on this list present in your life? If so, check them off and use the results to assess the situation you’re dealing with and make plans to change it if you can.

__ 1. Communication is indirect.

People don’t talk to each other face-to-face. Instead, they find an alternative method of conveying information, especially if the message is bad news, likely to create hard feelings, or may bring up an uncomfortable issue. This method is frequently used between individuals or groups who have a long-standing feud or just don’t get along. A third party may be asked to deliver the message and instructed not to reveal the sender’s identity.

__ 2. Conflicts are not stated openly.

Differences between coworkers remain hidden from the collective view. People keep track of what upsets others and make certain not to bring up these deeper issues for fear of incurring the wrath of the guilty party. Personal frustration and misdirected anger stimulate spirited debates centered on non-threatening issues such as where to hold the Christmas party, which supply vendor to use, or who is authorized to park in the reserved spaces.

__ 3. Secrets are used to build alliances.

Individuals with confidential or privileged information disclose it to a chosen few. Sensitive information is passed with this caveat attached: “Promise you won’t tell anyone. If it gets out that I told you, I am in big trouble.” In turn, these confidants are expected to share any private tidbits that come their way. Thus, an alliance is formed of insiders who feel involved and included. Meanwhile, those outside the alliance feel alienated and rejected.

__ 4. Gossip is spread to excite and arouse.

Everyone loves a juicy piece of gossip. Even if they don’t want to believe it, they still want to hear it. The rumor mill usually carries harmless news or amusing commentary. Unfortunately, some folks get a kick out of passing on unfounded or false stories just to get attention. The mean-spirited passing of false accusations and malicious heresy harms innocent people; reputations are damaged, credibility is lost, and employee morale suffers.

__ 5. Corporate memory is lost or forgotten.

Records of previous agreements can’t be located. Projects get started and then stop suddenly without explanation. Problems thought to have been solved, suddenly resurface. Work is often duplicated for no apparent reason while similar tasks are forgotten or ignored. Quick fixes replace carefully thought-out solutions, and past mistakes are repeated. The primary mission is lost in a sea of special programs and pet projects.

__ 6. Requests for policy clarification are ignored.

Those who raise policy questions in an open forum are frequently told “I’ll get back to you on that.” or “Let me run that one by HR.” or “Stop by my office later and we’ll talk about it.” If the requester does stop by, he or she is provided with justification rather than clarification. Written requests for policy guidance go unanswered. Direct questions about policy implementation are met with hostility, but no credible answer.

__ 7. The open expression of true feelings is absent.

People feel uncomfortable expressing how they really feel due to fear of being rejected. If people know their feelings will not be respected, they keep them hidden. Even when they strongly oppose the prevailing viewpoint, they just nod and give their approval. A show of feelings is avoided for fear of getting hurt. Those who do let their feelings out are labeled as touchy-feely and told to get a grip on reality.

__ 8. The search for the cause of a problem is personalized.

The key concern is who messed this up rather than what went wrong. Anyone with information keeps quiet until the search for the scapegoat is over. People spend more time covering their tracks than looking for answers. The culprits are mentioned by name and held up as examples of what not to do. Taking responsibility leads to blame, when the project goes wrong.

__ 9. People look for direction on how to act and react.

People hesitate to go ahead on their own because they’ve learned that even when told it is up to you, it isn’t. People decode body language and read between the lines looking for hidden agendas. Trial balloons are floated up the chain of command to test reactions and make sure upstairs is okay with it. Projects are piloted repeatedly to work out all the bugs before the final launch. Completion timelines are missed as a result of the institutionalized red tape.

__ 10. Friendship between professional colleagues is lacking.

People who work together don’t seem to know much about each other. Opportunities for social interaction after hours are rare and not well attended. People are seldom asked, and rarely share, what’s going on in their personal lives. Misunderstandings, mistrust, and miscommunications are commonplace. Occasions for celebration, like birthdays, anniversaries, awards, and promotions, come and go with little fanfare.

__ 11. Complex procedures are initiated by memorandum.

Major projects such as computer conversions, telephone installations, and office relocations are suddenly jump-started by a vaguely worded email. Detailed guidelines are hard to find. Planning session schedules are rarely followed. When challenged to provide detailed guidelines, project directors apologize for the lack of specifics and promise to provide the relevant information as it becomes available – they never do.

__ 12. Meetings have long agendas and end up going in circles.

New business is added after the agenda is published. Those who aren’t satisfied with the previous decision revisit old business. Personal agendas are injected by the use of phrases like: “This will only take a minute.” – “I hope no one has a problem with this.” – “There’s just one thing that concerns me.” – “I’m not sure I agree, totally.” Meetings sometimes run so long that people will agree to anything just to get out of there.

__ 13. Inconsistent application of procedures is not challenged.

Chaos and confusion typically follow the introduction of a new procedure. Directives are followed by some but not by others, resulting in two different outcomes. No one points out the inconsistency or seeks clarification. When policies seem unfair or discriminatory, no one says anything. People work outside their job descriptions and expertise without complaining. When procedural changes are introduced at staff meetings, folks sit quietly without comment.

__ 14. Mundane reviews and reports replace serious issues on the meeting agenda.

In contrast to having important issues to talk about copies of the instructions for completing a survey of photocopy needs is handed out and discussed in detail. The food service director presents a categorized list of menu changes with the nutritional value and calorie content of each new item. A discussion of the facilities maintenance schedule and equipment replacement projections, tabled at the last session, will continue if time allows.

__ 15. Promises of better times ahead seduce people into a status quo.

An unexpected rash of resignations is shrugged off as a knee-jerk reaction to a temporary downturn. Motivational speeches and rah-rah sessions increase for no apparent reason. Higher profit and sales forecasts are announced with great fanfare. The long-term growth projections are unrealistic, but most people accept the numbers. Employees are encouraged to pull together and give 110% although the reasons for doing so are never made clear.

__ 16. Dualistic (us vs. them) thinking creates conflict and sets up sides.

People are forced to take a stand either for or against when opposing viewpoints surface. Alternative options or compromise solutions are seldom explored. The challenge to be right stimulates opposing arguments. People choose their side carefully because being on the losing end can have negative consequences. Group leaders use veiled threats to ensure allegiance: “Remember who signs your check.” and “My way or the highway.” are two examples.

__ 17. Perfectionism creates an atmosphere of intolerance for mistakes.

Micromanagers control every outcome. No matter how hard people work, or how good they get, they are expected to do better. Criticism prevails while praise and recognition are nonexistent. Simple mistakes and innocent oversights are blown out of proportion. Employees are disciplined or demoted for minor infractions. Those who complete assignments ahead of schedule are given more work to do. Enough is never enough.

__ 18. Judgments are made about people and things being “good” or “bad.”

People are told: That’s a bad idea. It’s a good thing you checked with me first. Promotions are based on how well people “fit.” Personality is a critical factor in determining who gets along with whom. Employees who don’t fit in are labeled as “bad” and rarely given a second chance. A “good” employee is one who gets along well with coworkers and doesn’t upset the boss. Job performance doesn’t seem to matter.

__ 19. Isolation keeps management from seeing what is happening.

Employees feel that management is out of touch and has no idea what’s really going on. Long-standing personnel problems never get resolved. Complaints and concerns are ignored. Managers are frequently out of the office, away at a conference, or in a meeting. Electronic messaging and telephone technologies buffer management from the world outside. Management has no idea what is important to the people who work for them. Two-way communication is nonexistent.

__ 20. Management isolation is used as the basis of decision-making by cliques.

Like-minded people assemble small groups and set their own agenda. Groups compete for scarce resources and withhold information from each other. Those who show initiative are thought to have management’s blessing. Group leaders with connections seem to get whatever support and resources they need. Those outside the loop are still waiting for approval. Employees assume management knows about the chaos, but they really don’t care.