What you don’t know can, and ultimately does, hurt you and potentially others. Instead of keeping negative information hidden, what you want others to do is tell it like it is or at least let you know when they believe something is wrong. Communicating honestly, even when it raises tempers and/or hurts feelings, will ultimately pull people together and build trust.

Here is a good example of why being straight with people is important.

The president of a university gave one of his deans a smaller percentage pay raise than her colleagues to communicate his dissatisfaction with her performance. The University Board of Directors had authorized merit raises of up to 5%.

The president reasoned that when the dean compared her meager 1% increase to the maximum 5% received by each of her colleagues, she’d get the message and improve her performance without him having to confront her directly.

She got a message, but not the one he intended. Concerned that she had fallen short of her goals, she was expecting the president to request her resignation. Imagine her surprise when she received his letter announcing a bonus. At first, she felt like a fool for having doubted herself.

Later, she realized that he must have known she had not achieved her goals, but he didn’t mention that fact in the letter. Either he didn’t care, or she was working for an incompetent boss.

Neither was true of course.

The president was fully aware of her shortcomings but had not communicated his displeasure clearly to avoid rejection. He soon realized his strategy had failed and called a meeting with the dean to clarify his discontent.

Relieved to know that her boss was not incompetent and just wanted to spare her feelings, she began working on improving her performance. It was long before she was earning full merit pay.