Communicating negative information or offering criticism to people of equal status is difficult but doable. They don’t have to listen to you and even if they do, they don’t have to agree with you or act upon what you say. Your chances of getting them to accept your point of view will greatly increase if you select the most appropriate path from one of the following options:

Em(path)y

Being empathetic conveys that you understand how the other person feels because you feel or have felt that way yourself. This path gives you the ability to connect on an emotional level. It shows that you have insights to share and are seeking a deeper exploration of the issues. This path also serves to open communications with those who’ll be pleased to know you accept their point of view but may not be ready yet to accept yours.

Sym(path)y

Being sympathetic conveys that you understand how the other person feels, but you don’t feel that way yourself. Use this path in situations where you truly want to understand someone else’s intentions and are trying to accept how that person feels even though you may disagree once you know the full story. This path is not as useful with disgruntled people because they’re less likely to understand their own feelings. All is not lost though; however, it could be a good beginning. Having you acknowledge their feelings without blaming them could open this path in the future.

A(path)y

Being apathetic indicates that you don’t know how the other person feels and don’t want to know either. This path works best with people who care more about their own feelings than they do about yours. That being the case, you might as well make your point without regard to their feelings or potential rejection. This path demonstrates that what you want is acceptance of your position and an understanding that you will be back if you don’t get what you need.

When responding to accusations or complaints, take care not to accept responsibility too soon. Until you have developed a list of your own phrases, try some of those listed above.

When communicating your thoughts is not the issue but understanding the basis for criticism is you may have to make some adjustments. For instance, in seeking clarification, try not to imply that the criticism is without merit until you hear the details.