Working with others who see the goals and objectives differently than you can be stressful and anxiety producing. Toiling under such adversarial conditions is likely to develop an atmosphere of negativity and mistrust that drive people apart creating fertile ground for rejection.

This is where knowledge pooling creates an understanding that pulls people together. It helps to have an agreed upon method of communicating that allows everyone to be heard and understood.

The React—Respond—Reflect communication process model described below is designed to encourage more listening and less speaking during face-to-face interactions. Remember that you’ll be more effective by being, “Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”

React: Suppress first impressions or impulses

The temptation to react when a thought enters your mind is natural, but it should be held in check to encourage the speaker to continue without interruption. Expressing your own feelings and thoughts prematurely shifts the focus away from the speaker and discourages rather than encourages a more thorough exploration of the issue. 

Respond: Answer positively or affirmatively

The appropriate time to respond will become obvious once the speaker has expressed what is foremost on his or her mind. A positive response at that time not only acknowledges that you have heard what has been said, but also encourages the speaker to respond more openly to your questions and concerns.

Reflect: Suggest alternatives or resolutions

The opportunity to reflect on alternative outcomes and explore optional solutions will eventually surface when critical judgment is suspended, and the dialogue is free flowing between all participants. At this point everyone can see the situation through multiple eyes.   

Note: if you seek first to understand and then to be understood, you’ll come away from this experience knowing how to do the right thing the right way for the right reason.